you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
