I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
