We named our party play list daddy issues
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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