I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
i think i just naturally attract stoners
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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