TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize