Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
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