Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
