how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
