my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
