Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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