Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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