I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
We are two peas in an std pod
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
