thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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