On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
