I'm really into asian looking animals
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
