he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
