i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
