Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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