I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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