Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
