After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
