Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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