Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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