Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
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