Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
