I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
My vagina just recognized that song.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
