i barfeds in our rink
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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