At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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