a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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