Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
