Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
