u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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