I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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