just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Fuck appropriateness.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
