He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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