3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
