guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
