dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
