i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
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