Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
