...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
