its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
You have to summon your inner elephant
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
