We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
