I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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