he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
