Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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