whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
