im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
