wakey wakey hands off snakey
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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