Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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