Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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