Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
